PPD: Journal Entry #3

Written on January 10, 2011 while being hospitalized for Postpartum Depression:

A woman told me I look much better today. It feels good that people can notice. I’m definitely feeling better than I was yesterday. Yesterday was so scary. I met with my doctor today. Basically, she told me this is going to pass, but in the meantime I’m going to up the dosage on my medication. If the medicine seems to be working, then I’ll probably only be here two more days. If I’m not liking the medication then the doctor will change the meds, but it should prolong my stay.

I’m just trying to stay positive, which is pretty hard when you’re surrounded by depressed people. This morning was a little hard to get moving, but after getting dressed after breakfast, I was craving activity. Fortunately we were able to go to the gymnasium. And guess what? I played 3 on 3 basketball. B would be proud, and possibly a little jealous he missed it. Especially since he’s always trying to get me to play with him! I can’t wait to tell him.

The therapy here kind of sucks. Well, I’ve only been to one [group] session, but it wasn’t helpful. I’m here because of a hormonal issue–not abuse of any sorts. I just couldn’t really relate. Plus, I really would like to talk with someone about how to cope with the anxiety. And obviously, most importantly is to prevent the harmful thoughts. But I believe that will come with time… and meds.

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