PPD: Discouraged

The following is a journal entry, written on 2/2/11, while fighting postpartum depression:

I am feeling discouraged right now. Three-4pm seems to be the time of day that gets me down. It’s really frustrating. Right now, I feel like, “How can I do this everyday? Is this really my life? When will it all be over?” I know I’m not supposed to project predicaments in to the future because I’m going to feel different then, than I do now, but I can’t help it. I don’t know what I need. I was doing so well this morning. But now? Now I feel very discouraged and incapable. It scares me because it’s not who I really am. It doesn’t make any sense. My dream was to be a stay-at-home-mom. So why is this happening to me? Why am I so miserable? This isn’t suppose to happen to me. I feel like I’m being punished.

To read more about my PPD journey, click here.

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