A Mother’s Day Prayer… a few days early

“O Lord: On this Mother’s Day, when we pay homage to motherhood, I thank Thee, O God, for Thy gift of a blessed mother, for her sweetness, kindness and warmth, her deeply-felt love, and her tender, gentle care. All through the years, as long as I can remember, from infancy to this day, she has been at my side, caring for me, training and teaching me, and guiding and comforting me in every trial and tribulation. I know, O Lord, that this precious gift, mother, comes from Thy storehouse of blessings, and with all my heart and soul, I offer Thee my gratitude.”
“Reverently do I pray that I may be worthy of her noblest striving. Deepen my sense of understanding, so that I may be aware of her potent influence in my life. Give her Thy fatherly protection. Keep her from all bodily harm and from distress of mind and spirit. Grant me the privilege that I may cherish and revere her all the days of my life.”
“May He who blessed our matriarchs Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah, bless my dearly beloved mother. May God Almighty grant her life, and keep her strong and healthy. May He send many blessings of joy to her and cause her to be proud of her achievements. And may He bestow upon her and all other mothers in Israel and mankind, a full and happy life.”
Amen.
To me, my mother is not only a fighter, but an inspiration. Five years ago, she stomped the shit out of stage 3 colon cancer; and now, she’s staring breast cancer straight in the eye and taking no prisoners. My mother has showed me throughout the years that no matter what, we just have to keep pushing through. Sometimes life deals you some pretty crappy cards, but you can either feel sorry for yourself, or you can do what ya gotta do, and keep on moving…
Ever since I can remember, my mother has been the most selfless person. She has given so much to me. There will never be the right words to say to describe my adoration and appreciation. As much as I love having her as a mother, I love having her as a grandmother to Emmalyn so much more! There’s an infinite amount of love between the two of them. When my mom gets home from work, her eyes light up at the site of Emmy, who in return, gives her the biggest-most-gummiest-yummiest smile and flaps her arms in excitement. Their relationship is truly special.
So, I thank you, God, today and every day, for the most important woman in my life. I am blessed, honored, proud, and humbled to be her daughter.
{I love you, mommy!!}
Loyally,
Katie

BAM!

a year ago to the day,
i received some {ehem, shall i say} surprising news.
i went in to the doctor on a friday afternoon,
thinking i had a uti,
and walked out
with!a!baby!
yup.
i always imagined how happy & excited i would be when i’d find out i was pregnant one day.
but when the nervous nurse told me this shocking news,
i felt terrified instead of ecstatic.
suddenly my dreams of becoming a mom felt foreign.
since april 9th 2010,
my life has been a *whirlwind*
engaged.
married.
baby.
bam!

this past year has been the most memorable year of my life, to date.
i have changed, & grown, & all for the better.
i love who i am now so much more than a year ago.

i became a mother.

& you, emmalyn grace, made me a mommy.

{i love you}

so… happy oneyearfindingoutimpregnantanniversary, to me 😉

loyally,

katie

Introducing….

…our new home!
{sorry it’s a crummy pic, but i took it with my phone as we were driving by before we officially crossed our T’s}
i am so happy blake & i found a place to live. it’s about 20 minutes away from our parents & 11 minutes away from the hospital blake will be interning at.
perfecto!
it’s a cute & quaint starter(rental)home with an amazing back yard. & there’s plenty of work to be done!
oh, the house is nicely kept & recently remodeled, but umm… there’s only one little problem.
we don’t have any furniture.
emmy does. but we don’t.
see, the first house we moved into when blake started med school was furnished. convenient for us since we were straight outta college & would only be living there for two years.
but now?
now, we’d kinda like a comfy place to lay our pretty little heads.
& that’s where the stress fun comes in.
i’ve been hanging out at all the local thrifts & consignment shops lately with my girl. she’s a terrific little shopper & we’ve been having lotsa fun perusing for great finds.
 
i’ll be updating y’all on our nesting journey.
hopefully i’ll make it to home depot to pick out paint colors
ooooh i can’t wait!!
do you have any favorite thrifty finds? do you love {or not so love} decorating your home? what’s your style? do you have any favorite go-to decorating sites? do share!
loyally,
katie

Blessed.

This past weekend is something I’ll always remember.
For many reasons…

Emmalyn met her great-grandmother for the first time.
Emmalyn met many aunts, uncles, & cousins.
Emmalyn watched her mommy & daddy reaffirm their love for one another.

It was a weekend filled with
love, laughter, & happily ever afters.

…more to come…
{but click here for a little more in case you just can’t wait}

loyally,

katie

4 Months & Whoopsie Daisies!!

If you stopped by earlier, you may have noticed something out of the ordinary. Perhaps, Emmalyn looked a little different in her pictures? Perhaps, maybe, it was because the pictures were not actually of Emmalyn…?? Perhaps they were of Little Miss Elli over at From Mrs. to Mama…?
Before you think I’m a total crazy person, let me explain…
I copy/pasted Elli’s mommy’s format of her 4 month post on Elli. I deleted Elli’s info/stats/pictures, and replaced them with Emmalyn’s, naturally. Well, I got a super nice e-mail from Elli’s mama letting me know that Elli’s pictures were on my blog. what.the.H?! I previewed and previewed and checked and checked my blog, numerous times… you know, for typos and what-not. Never once did I see pictures of anyone else but Emmalyn. But, sure enough, when I checked my blog from my phone… there was all of my information & pics of my daughter, BUT also pics of Elli.
I immediately apologized to Elli’s mommy–I felt terribly awful! 
Let me just say that I am using my parents’ stone-age computer. This never would have happened on my Mac, back home. (This is also why my pictures are small and grainy.. blech!) I canNOT wait until we move in (April 1st!) to our new house and I can get back to my Mac.
OK! So I hope that cleared things up. 
Now, for the re-post of Emmy’s 4-Month Update:
Emmalyn Grace,
Today you are four months old. & I am having the most fun with you! Your bubbly personality is a constant reminder to me just how wonderful life is. There’s no way I can have a bad day with you around. Sometimes, if I’m expressing a frustrating moment to someone, & I see you flash a big gummy-smile at me, I literally forget what I was talking about. I’ve been told by many people that you’re the best baby they’ve ever seen–and I agree! [no biases here, of course} I love watching you grow everyday, finding new things you can do. I am looking forward to moving in to our new house with Daddy and Indy. There’s a nice porch to shade you from the sun, & a big fenced-in yard for you to run and play in {not anytime soon though!} I could go on and on, and I will in your baby books, but thank you, my sweet angel baby, Emmy, for making me a better person.
Forever Your Mommy…
4-Month Baby Stats
***
Sleep
The angels have blessed me in this department, kid. My darling daughter, you go to bed around 10 or 10:30, and don’t wake up until 8:30 or 9am. You have been doing this since you were six weeks old! You are still sleeping in my room (or shall I say your grandparents’ guest room since we are in between houses and cities). Most nights you wake me up with little mouse-like squeaks and giggles. Yes, you giggle in your sleep. It’s hilarious. Oh, and we can totally make noise around the house, while you’re asleep, and it does.not.phase.you. I’m talking, vacuuming, phone ringing, dog barking, doorbell ringing kind of noise… yipeee!
Daily Routine
 I’ve tried writing down your routine, and it’s just not practical. I can pretty much predict how the day will go until around noon, but that’s about it. Most of the time you wake up around 8:30am, & this is one of my most favorite times of the day with you. When I go in to get you out of bed, you have the biggest smile on your face…always!! I love it! I let you stretch on the bed, & we have a little “chit-chat.” Then, when I change your diaper, I sing you our three “Good morning” songs. You just smile and coo along…
After your first bottle, I’ll set you in the Bumbo while I either eat if I didn’t get a chance earlier, or finish getting ready. You love to watch your mommy beautify herself. Then, within the hour you start rubbing your eyes and I know it’s time for your morning nap. Normally, you’ll nap for another two hours. After that, it’s usually time for another bottle. 

The rest of the day is pretty flexible. If it’s a stay-at-home-kinda-day, we’ll alternate between tummy time on your activity mat, reading books, sitting outside in the shade, and following mommy around the house in your Bumbo. You love to sit on mommy’s lap and “talk.” It’s like we’re having our own secret conversation….
If we venture out, you’re always so well-behaved. You’re either sleeping soundly or lifting your head to look around. {I’m guessing you’re going to save your in-the-middle-of-target-tantrums for a later time?}
Anywhere between 9:30 & 10pm, you get a bath. And baby girl, you L-O-V-E your baths. You’re definitely like your mama in this way. You just lay back (in the sink, still–but not for long), while I pour warm water all over you. You don’t even mind when I let water drip down your face.

 Food
You are eating 5oz of formula, approximately every three hours, unless of course you are snoozing. I used to stop to burp you a couple of times during the feeding, but you started getting a little attitude if I took the bottle out of your mouth =P
Apparently, we are going to start solid foods this month. {will find out more at your next appointment}
Weight
At birth: 6lbs 14oz
A few days ago: 13lbs 2oz
{but this was done with the ‘ole mom-stands-on-the-scale-first-then-subtracts-from-combined-weight-method. totally accurate}
 Length
At birth: 20 inches
Current: No idea. But you have your four-month check-up on the 28th so we’ll find out then!
Diaper Size
You are wearing size 1-2 Costco diapers. These seem to be working the best on you. Sorry Pampers, but you did not hold up well in the blow-out test.
Clothes Size
I do not understand baby clothes sizes! No two of the same sizes are actually alike! {what gives?!?} You are mostly wearing 3-6 months, although you can still fit into some 0-3 and just 6 months. Makes no sense to me… This week, mommy’s going to go through your newborn clothes and pack them away [insert.tears.here]
Hair Color
At birth: bald
Currently: wellll… in pictures it looks like you’re still bald, but up close, it’s light brown in the back and blond on the top. But I’m not holding my breath that you’ll grow more hair anytime soon 😉
Eye Color
At birth: dark blue
1 month: slate grayish/blue
2 months: dark brownish/green
3 months: brown with hints of green… debatable 
4 months: looking like they’re going to be brown like your mama, although there’s still a shimmer of green
Mommy’s favorite moments
I cannot get enough of your smiles and giggles. You do it all.the.time. I love when I catch you looking at me, staring and studying my face so intently. 
BUT I think my most fav.or.ite. moment is when I lay you down in your bed at night, while you’re still awake… I say a little prayer, kiss you goodnight, & you show me the biggest!smile!ever!
{melts mommy’s heart every time}
Milestones
When on your stomach, you are holding your head up for much longer periods of times. …Sometimes you don’t even put your head down!
You are TheDroolingQueen, emmycakes. I should invest in bib stock with how many bibs we go through a day! And you are constantly trying to gnaw on things.
You started laughing out loud. Like, full-on belly laughs!! zomg i love it!
You’re following objects that are at a farther distance. & whenever I walk across the room, you stop what you’re doing to follow me.
You are holding your head up nice and strong when you sit in your Bumbo. 
You started reaching for items and grabbing onto them–although they don’t keep your attention for too long. The other night, I had you in your Bumbo next to a shoebox and you leaned over & grabbed that sucker, pulling it over to you. {Perhaps you’ve inherited your daddy’s love for shoes?}  
You’ve started squealing in delight, especially if you like the song mommy’s singing.
You are continuing to roll over from your stomach-to-back, but have been doing this since you were a month old.
We’re still working on back-to-stomach… you can almost get flat on your stomach, but you haven’t quite figured out how to pull your arm out from under you.
The swaddler has been our best friend since day one {works like a charm every time} but two days ago, I thought we’d see how you did in just a sleeper. My girl, you did great! Still didn’t wake up once 🙂
You make razzberries.

& You try to stand up.

 Your favorite toy
You pretty much know how to entertain yourself. But I must say, you love to read/look at books. One day, I was reading a kid’s first-bible-book-of-sorts… you sat on my lap & let me read eighty pages to you!! {yes, that’s eight-zero…80!} I kept looking down to see if you were really looking, and sure enough–you were following along!
Firsts
First trip to the zoo with mommy, Auntie Re (your godmother) & cousin Lucas. You basically slept in the stroller the whole time, and never once fussed!
Watched mommy play at her flag football game
You’ve started rubbing your eyes when you’re sleepy 
You found your feet!
MET AUNT DANA from NYC (aka mom’s BFF)!!!
let out a REAL.BIG.LAUGH! {courtesy aunt dana}
First picnic by the lake with mommy & daddy
First cold, unfortunately 🙁 But it didn’t seem to bother you the least! Just a very snotty nose and baby coughs. Mommy caught it though, and felt miserable all weekend. boo

First St. Patty’s Day (today!}

 ***
& in just one.short.day…
you will meet your great-grandma from West Virginia.
As well as aunts, uncles, and lots of cuzzies!

!!! WE CAN’T WAIT !!!
<3

loyally,
katie

P.S.
hey y’all!! please let me know if i fixed it. it seemed to have worked when i viewed it from my phone, but let me know! thanks for understanding 🙂

Straight Up

 Your questions answered!

How’s everything going lately?

Things are going well, considering the circumstances. Postpartum Depression is a real drag, let me tell you. But I have surely come a long way, and things are finally looking up and heading in the right direction. It was a very scary time in my life, but through proper care and professional help, I have moved mountains. One of the best things I can be doing right now is activity. I’m glad my family has been supportive in allowing me to take time every day to care for myself. I’ve learned not to feel guilty about asking for help, and having “me” time. {No one’s going to call me “Katie-me-time-[last name]” … Modern Family last night, anyone??} I am doing things I have never done before, and it feels awesome! I’m pumping iron with a trainer two days a week… Buddha Bootcamp Yoga once a week {my fav!}… I got back into a dance class once a week…and get this, y’all! I’m on a co-rec flag football team! saywhat?! Yep. Never played before in my life (well since elementary school). But it’s so much fun and I even catch the ball and pull flags… {plural..!!} Ha! Plus, I try to run a mile on my “days off.” It’s been terrifically therapeutic.

And of course, playing with this little love, is always good for the soul.

What is your guilty pleasure?

I’m almost embarrassed to say that it’s the Kardashian’s. I can’t help it! They’ve hooked and reeled me in like a helpless little flounder. They’re addicting! Although… I miss the original “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” These new spin-offs just aren’t as good. [I miss Bruce ::sigh::]
Anyone else share in my horrid habit?

Do you read any magazines on a monthly basis—if so, which ones?
I read People Magazine. That’s the only subscription I have. I look through all the pictures, then go back and read most of the articles. I really like spotting the 10 differences in the picture, and I must say—I’ve gotten especially fast =) But I definitely flip through all the gossip magz every time I’m at the grocery store or Barnes & Noble. Occasionally, I’ll buy a Cosmo if I really like who’s on the cover.
What are your current favs (and not so fav) baby items?
My FAV.or.ite. baby item thus far is Fisher Price’s Rock ‘n Roll Sleeper. No competition.

This has been a life saver, in my opinion. Miss Em sleeps next to me (at bed level) which I love. But my favorite feature is that it folds up in literally a snap and can easily be taken from room to room, or house to house. We take it everywhere with us. I highly recommend it to any new mom.
{thanks cousin holly for sending it to us!}  

The Bumbo is also a big hit in our home. 

{she’s starting to grab for things–it’s so cute!}

Emmy loves sitting in it, and just like the sleeper, I take it from room to room so I can get things done without holding her.

I currently don’t have a least favorite baby product, but I will say that I am very much a minimalist. There are so many creative products, and no doubt useful and fun, but seeing that we’re in transition of moving, less is more right now. My one advice to new moms though, would be to not buy sooo many clothes. There are some onesies Emmy never even wore because she lived in gowns the first month of her life. It’s smart to wash and prepare a few clothes, but I wish I would have left the tags on most of them. 

Is there anything you absolutely could not live without? 
Besides the obvious “family, friends, water, etc…” answer, I could not live without Burt’s Bees Lip Balm and Olay Daily Facials Cleansing Cloths. It removes all my makeup and leaves my face feeling smooth. {I follow up with Clinque’s Dramatically Different Moisturizing Gel… love that, too!}
Is it hard being away from BJ?
Yes, it is hard being away from my husband, but it’s what we have to do at this time. He has to go to school, and I need help while I recover. We are fortunate that we’re only two hours away and see one another every 2-3 weeks. We are also very blessed that we have both sets of grandparents to help with Emmalyn. Just knowing that we’ll be back together in May, is enough to get me through. Thank goodness for Skype, right?!

So… tell me something boutchaself…  

loyally,
katie 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Today’s my birthday, yo!
I’m the big 2-4!
{My lucky number!}
We’re in town visiting our parents for the holidays and so my mom asked me what I wanted for dinner. I told her my favorite childhood meal: spaghetti with meat sauce with a side of raw cucumbers and raw green peppers with peanut butter.
Weird? Perhaps.
But that’s what the birthday girl wants! HA!
*****
Okay, in serious news. I have something to share and I debated posting about it. But here goes. I have postpartum depression. I’m not ready to share my story, as I’ve yet to sit down and write it any way, but I wanted to let you know. This past week was the hardest and scariest time of my entire life. I have immediately gotten help from my doctors and am on medication. I am doing much better. There’s still a long road ahead, but I am strong and will get through it. My husband and daughter are my rocks.
At first I was ashamed, but now I just want to bring awareness to other moms. Postpartum depression is serious and it needs to be taken care of immediately. I’m thankful I am getting the help I need.
Please keep my family and me in your prayers. This is something that will take some time to heal. I will share my story soon–I feel it’s extremely important.
Until them, we’re super busy showing off our adorable little love, decorating for Christmas, and visiting with friends and family. 
Life is good.
[sorry for the iPhone picture quality]
I hope everyone is enjoying the holidays!
xoxo

Let’s Be Real.

Sometimes the things you want, aren’t always what’s best for you.


Case in point… breast feeding.


I’ve always known I’ve wanted to breast feed, and since becoming pregnant I always assumed I’d do it for about six to nine months. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy even though it’s supposed to be natural. I’ve read and read and talked and talked to women about it. I felt prepared.


Boy, was I wrong.


So you know how I’ve been so nauseous? [Are you as sick of that word as I am??!] Well, since all of my millions of blood work from three OB and two ER visits came back normal, I started questioning if my nausea was psychological. As I mentioned in my last post, I started wondering if it had anything to do with my mom leaving after ten days? But I ruled that out after STILL feeling nauseous days after she left. I wasn’t paranoid or anxious about taking care of Emmalyn. She’s a pretty easy baby (so far… knock on wood!) I wasn’t depressed, although I questioned this. I seriously tried thinking of how I could be depressed, but nothing came to me.


Then I started thinking about breast feeding. In the beginning things were pretty normal. She was latching on all right, I was sore and tender, but it wasn’t terrible. I felt confident Emmalyn was getting what she needed. Em was born on a Wednesday and by Saturday… BAM! My milk came it. It’s just like people say… it hits you like a brick.


And guess what day I started feeling nauseous? Yep. The same Saturday. I never thought anything about it at the time. Over the last few days breast feeding has not been going well. For Emmalyn, yes. For me? notsomuch. It has been painful to say the least. I’ve literally been dreading feeding her. That’s not supposed to happen. The whole anticipation and preparation of breast feeding has made me terribly anxious and stressed. I’ve totally been beating myself up about it and I feel like my body just cannot keep up…. I’ve been setting my alarm about fifteen minutes ahead of Em’s feedings so I can fill both my gatorade and water bottles, plus eat a little something. Then, I change her, set up the bed with the pillows I like, sit down to nurse… And then, there’s the pain! So much pain I am gripping the sheets, shouting expletives, and crying in my husband’s arms. Plus, the whole process from the time I get up, to the time she finishes feedings lasts an hour!


I cannot go on like this. It’s not worth it. To me.


Blake and I have had several discussions over the last few days about whether to continue breast feeding or not. I’ve had a war with myself over it. (As well as debated posting this since people can be so judgey) Should I stop? Will I regret it if I do? Should I just try to get through the first month–I’ve heard it gets so much better… 


While all this was going on, I started thinking that maybe I’m nauseous because of the anxiety over breast feeding. Maybe I’m making myself sick over it. So Monday night, B and I decided we would supplement with formula, while I pumped a little to get relief. Then, at Em’s pedi appointment on Tuesday, we’d talk to the doctor about stopping breast feeding. Remember how when I pumping before, I was expressing nearly 4oz at every sitting? Well, this time when I pumped, I was barely getting ONE ounce between the two girls. Whaaaat??? Maybe that’s why things have been hurting so bad–Emmy is trying and trying to get stuff out and it’s just not happening because nothing’s there anymore…? It’s hard to tell since you can’t see.


Any way… were my suspicions correct? Is the nausea related to the breast feeding? Well, I’m no expert, but since late Monday night when I stopped breast feeding, I have not been nauseous, y’all! Now, I do have a clogged duct in my left breast, so I’m experiencing ‘flu-like’ achey-ness, which is normal. (I’m applying a warm wash cloth and taking hot showers to help clear it up) Plus, I’m a new mom so my energy is still low and I’m tired, so I’m not feeling 100% like myself quite yet. But no nausea.


At Emmalyn’s pedi appointment yesterday, her doctor was fully supportive of my decision. She said I need to be happy! And if mom isn’t happy, nobody–especially baby–is happy. She was very adamant I don’t beat myself up over breast feeding. She said in order to stop breast feeding, I just do it cold turkey, and the nurse at my OB’s office said the same thing… and to wear a tight bra!


So how am I feeling emotionally? Let’s be real… I can’t help but feel a little sad. I don’t feel like a failure because I honestly gave it my all, and for two weeks Emmy got tons of nutrients and immunity from me. (Although B says my immunity sucks any way… LOL) I’m not even worried about what people will say. But I loved that when I was nursing, it was just me and my girl; and I loved that she’d hold my finger by her ear. BUT, I know I can get special-mommy-daughter-time in other ways. My mom did. She could only breast feed for two weeks, before she stopped producing milk (which could possibly be what happened to me, too…???) and my mom and I are super close to this day, so I don’t see any reason why Em and I won’t be.


I’ve talked to a few family members about this and while they all say, don’t beat yourself up over stopping, but I can’t help it. It’s sort of like I have to go through a little mourning. Not in an extreme sort of way. Just a little grieving. I’m confident I made the right decision for me… for my sanity, for my body and well-being. And what’s best for me, is ultimately the best for my daughter.


It may be too soon to tell if the nausea is related to the breast feeding, but it does seem very possible. It all matches up…. the nausea started the day my milk came in, and the nausea has ceased (so far) the day I stopped breast feeding. Makes you think…?




*Thank you ALL for your sincere words and genuine well-wishes over the past couple of weeks. It means so much to me that y’all care. I’m truly grateful.


**Today Emmalyn and I are off to a ‘Little Nippers’ class at the hospital I delivered at. It’s for new moms to discuss EVERYTHING & ANYTHING! I’m excited to go, but nervous because it’s my first time driving since delivery, plus my first time alone with my girl. PLUS, it’s icky and cold out today and I don’t have anything to wear post-partum! HA! Wish us luck!

Sunday Stickies–Raincheck

Even though last week was the first time I did “Sunday Stickies,” I’m going to have to take a raincheck today. There’s something else I want to write about. It’s not for fun, or for you–but for me. 


Last night, my mom called me at the end of a very long, fun, and productive day to tell me my childhood dog, Sassy passed away. I have had Sassy since I was in the FIRST GRADE! She was just two months shy of SEVENTEEN years old! Can you believe that?! 


We knew it was coming. Even though she’s never been in any pain, we were pretty sure she was almost completely blind and deaf. About a month ago, I believe, my mom and I talked about putting her down, if/when the possibility should arise. I told her I didn’t want her to tell me until after the baby was born. In mind, I thought I just wouldn’t be able to handle it, and it wouldn’t be healthy for me to get so upset. I was crying just having the conversation. I didn’t want to think about it. And every time I went home to visit my parents, I would hug and kiss Sassy goodbye, knowing very well it could be my last time seeing her.


It actually happened on Wednesday, but because Blake had a really big test on Friday, my mom made the decision to wait to tell me. My mom told Blake ahead of time and together they also made the decision it would be best to tell me before the baby, instead of waiting until after she was born, or in December when we go home to visit them. It’s not something I thought I’d want, but I’m actually very glad she told me. Some days when I talked to my mom on the phone I’d ask her how Sassy was doing. I know she would be caught off-guard and wouldn’t know whether to lie or tell the truth. If she lied, she’s probably hesitate, which then I’d know. And if she told the truth right on the spot, I might not be in a strong enough condition to handle the news, or B wouldn’t be around. 


I’m glad she told me how and when she did. I cried and cried (especially since my mom was crying, too), but I was actually a lot calmer and a lot more in control than I ever imagined I would be. What got me to stay calm was thinking about my daughter inside me–I didn’t want to get my heart rate going, and her’s, too. But if I had not been pregnant, I’m sure I would have completely lost it. My mom just said things turned for the worse fast. I won’t go into details, but I don’t think she was in pain. My parents made the decision to send her to be with God. I just feel bad I wasn’t there to be with them. But I know if I were there, at nine months pregnant, I wouldn’t be able to handle it. 


It’s going to be very strange going back home in December, without her greeting me at the door. But she lived such a long life. Not only have I had her since first grade, but she made it through my driver’s license, college graduation, engagement, wedding, and almost baby. I’m so thankful for that.


If you stuck around long enough to read this, thank you. If not, that’s okay, too. This was for me. And because “I’m-sorry-for-your-loss’s ” , “Hang-in-there’s” , & “I’m-thinkin-of-you’s” make me cry even more, please don’t feel obligated to comment today. But if you do, a simple ” 🙂 ” will say it all.

[Sassy and me before my wedding]