PPD: Journal #2

An entry from my journal while being hospitalized for postpartum depression:

I want to get better so bad. I just want to feel like myself again. I want to be able to joke, play, be social… I’m scared I’m never going to get there. I have heard, as well as read, numerous times that this is not forever. And while I believe it’s true, I also don’t at the same time. But I have to keep believing and staying strong.

I have to remember the good in life. I’ve been so blessed–I can and WILL get through this.

I finally received my bag of clothes that my parents dropped off. Unfortunately, visiting hours are only on Tuesdays and Saturdays so I wasn’t able to see them. I had to wait about an hour for someone to take inventory on my belongings. It was strange watching this happen. A girl took each item out, unfolded it and examined it. She even had to cut the string out of my pajama pants. My toiletries have been locked up and I must ask to use them. This is so surreal.

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2 Replies to “PPD: Journal #2”

  1. Thank you for sharing your story, Katie. You are such an amazing and STRONG woman! E is so lucky to have you as her mama!! 🙂

    I'm always thinking of you. I hope things are going well! xoxo

  2. I appreciate you honesty and putting yourself out there like this Katie.
    I suffered so severely from PPD and have since battled with life-threatening depression. There is so much negative attention surrounding depression that I think it's SO important that you are putting yourself out there like this – to show that it IS okay to get help, and that it isn't forever and that there is hope.
    Still thinking of you a lot!!!
    xo

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